Friday, August 25, 2006

Help Me Understand !!!

I know I did bad things that hurt you bad, I did not mean to cause you so much heartbreaking pain and anguish and I hope you believe me. Even though I have hurt you, it wasn't intended because I didn't know any better. Call me an ignorant, stupid fool, call me what you will, but please let me make things better and make things right between us. I need your help to understand. First let me make you understand that I know that I hurt you and I can tell you honestly that it will never happen again. I want to learn, I want to make things right, I want to do anything I can to make you happy once again. Relationships take work, hard work and although I can make mistakes, it is only because I have never been involved in such a deep relationship before, I've never felt this way for another woman. This is new to me and I am still learning how to act and behave because like I told you before I've never cared about somebody like I care about you. I hope you will help me to make things better for not just me or you but the both of us. I am having a difficult time understanding the pain I have caused you, it is not because I don't want to. I do want to. I wish I could feel that pain for you and take it away. I would take all of the suffering for you if you would allow me. Please, please, please, please, Baby please forgive me, I have only always loved you since the day I that I told you that I LOVED YOU. I throw myself at your mercy and hope that your love will one day be as strong as mine. I that you see how imperfect I am but I would love for you to also see how perfect my love is for you. I only make mistakes because I was stupid and not thinking clearly then. Please forgive me Baby, my love, and help me to make things right for both of us.

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Friday, August 11, 2006

Thank GOD for Having YOU

Baby,

I love having you in my life. It has never been the same since you came into it, and I know it will never be the same again...
I love you so much. You are always inside of me, warm within my heart, and you are everywhere in the world that surrounds me. You come to me tenderly. You take my soul places it's never been before. You give me more of you than I ever knew could give.
You give me feelings that feel like presents almost too beautiful to open. Among the gifts you have given, one of the most wonderful of all is the joy of being so close to you. Thank you for trusting me enough to share all that you are...with all that I hope to be. I love catching glimpses of every new facet you share with me. And the more you do that...the more I can't help but adore what I see.
In the time that we have been together, you have made my sun rise on so many mornings - and I'm sure it was you who made my stars come out at night. You've surprised me with the gifts of hope and laughter and love, and you've made me a believer in something I never used to have too much faith in: the notion that dreams really can come true.
If there are times when you look at me and see my eyes filled with smiles and tears, it's only because my heart is so full of happiness, and because my life is so thankful for...you. I LOVE YOU BABY.

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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

When I say I LOVE YOU !!

Baby,
"When I say I love you, it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one. I just love you, no matter what. Do I ask too much when I want someone to say that to me?

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Monday, August 07, 2006

My Depressive Life

This past week has been really bad for me. Suffering from depression is a complicated thing. I try so hard to fight my monsters, but they are resilient. When the smallest thing goes wrong, I feel like my world is over. And when I have a bad week, it seems like I am fighting a losing battle. I hate it. I hate being crazy. The sadness is indescribable. I feel like I don’t belong in this world. Like nothing will ever change. Like I just can’t seem to catch a break. Everytime I tell myself to be positive and get through it, I always get knocked back down by someone or something. That is inevitable. It is the only constant thing in my life. Just love the people in your life with everything you have. It does not count if you don’t tell them. Tell them they matter. Tell them you need them & love them & would be lost without them. Be kind to everyone, whether a friend or a stranger. Please understand that your words can make or ruin someone’s day without you even realizing it. Know that there are some people out there with extremely fragile souls who can break so easily. People who have already been broken and are trying desperately to put their lives back together. Some, like me, go through their day grasping at the smallest bit of hope that they can wake up tomorrow and face their lives again. Realize they need you to love them. Understand they feel lost and are searching for something to hope for.Be the hope they can cling to.

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After the Weekend

Well another weekend where things are getting better, sometimes is hard to express frustration without trying to make it an all about me issue. I just wish that one day, maybe one day I'll be understood on how much I want this to work out for not only me but for us and for everybody that is involved in it (meaning family members). I just wish that one person will finally realize that after all mistakes that were made by me that I will never, ever, ever make them again. Sometimes it is hard to express how much I understand that the mistakes that were made by me can't just go and disappear but in the same talking how much you LOVE and CARE about that special one that you are willing to do anything and everything to make the relationship move forward and work it out. I just hope that one day everything gets better and we don't push each other away. I LOVE YOU BABY ;-)

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Friday, August 04, 2006

Another Day

Another day here at work, it is so frustrating, so many things to do and so little time to do it. Long, long, long day thinking and thinking of what plan of action to take? What to do? How to do it? and still nothing. I just can't believe that I'm so lucky to have somebody so special in my life like my fiancee', she is just everything that I need, she is just everything that I want, thanks to her I stay focus on what I need to do and what I want to accomplish, she is my completer I am complete thanks to her. One day (and when I say one day I really mean it) I will give her the WORLD because she deserves it, she has put up with so much from me that anything less than the WORLD will be unfair.

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

MY FAMILY



Here you see my family (from left to right) My Mom, Daughter, Son, Sister, Aunt and the person that I LOVE the most in this entire world, my completer, my life, my everything, my Lovely Fiancee'.

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Hello

Hello,
Well i guess there will be more to follow, just started.

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